


King of My Heart

by GothicPixi



Series: reputation [4]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst?, Emotional Trauma, Friends as Family, IPRE, M/M, TAZ Balance, Taako Character Study, Taako's trust issues, Taylor Swift - Freeform, sazed mention, taakitz, taz balance spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-22
Updated: 2019-01-22
Packaged: 2019-10-14 08:03:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17504756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GothicPixi/pseuds/GothicPixi
Summary: Taako wasn’t up for romance, not anymore. Long term shit was not his cup of tea, not after Him. Taako was good out here, with one night stands and summer flings. He didn’t have the luxury to settle down, it wasn’t a natural feeling for him. He had never been in one place for a long period of time, he never found one place to call home.





	King of My Heart

Taako wasn’t up for romance, not anymore. Long term shit was not his cup of tea, not after Him. Taako was good out here, with one night stands and summer flings. He didn’t have the luxury to settle down, it wasn’t a natural feeling for him. He had never been in one place for a long period of time, he never found one place to call home. Or maybe he had, but it was gone now. He was alone, adaptable, and flexible. Romance meant tying yourself down, creating a weakness, becoming aware of a part of your heart he didn’t want to use anymore. He felt like part of his heart was missing anyways.

 

Maybe that’s why he went on a second date with Kravitz. And a third, and a fourth. Kravitz couldn’t die, and he could be anywhere in the Material Plane in seconds. Taako wouldn’t ever be tied down because of him. The Moon Base wasn’t home, but it was the closest thing the elf had in awhile. It was after the fourth date when Taako realized that Kravitz started to feel a little like home too, with his dark suits and cold hands, those brilliant red eyes. Taako had been perfectly fine, all on his own. He’d made up his mind that he was better off being alone.

 

But maybe that wasn’t true. Because when he saw Kravitz’s hand during Wonderland, there was a pain in his chest he didn’t forget hours later, in the middle of the apocalypse. He was  _ worried _ about  _ someone else’s wellbeing _ . He wanted to  _ save _ and  _ protect _ someone else. He’d...he’d fallen in love with someone, again, but a good person this time. Kravitz wasn’t Sazed. Kravitz wasn’t Sazed. Kravitz wasn’t Sazed.

 

And when the world was ending, and he had to choose a plane to connect to, he chose the most important one to him, and he called for Kravitz. Pan, he thought of Kravitz and he imagined that man’s dark skin, his dreads and feathers, his golden jewelry, his delectable laugh, his terrible accents. Taako wanted so bad to see Kravitz again, to make sure he was okay. Even with all his memories back, with  _ Lup _ back, Taako needed Kravitz too. He loves that grim reaper with all his heart, because his heart is back now and she likes the boy too. Taako doesn’t know how much of the dates the Umbra Staff could hear (or maybe even see?? They hadn’t talked about it), but Lup had a good idea of Krav already.

 

After the trucks exploded and the ground was transmuted, he saw him. There was Kravitz, king of his heart, body, and soul. It hit him then, all the feelings he’d been avoiding, all the love his insecurities and fears had tried to crush. Taako needed to kiss his goddamn boyfriend before they saved the world or died trying. Kravitz warmed his face up and Taako was on him. It wasn’t something he ever felt before, this freedom. It was only for a moment before they released and the adrenaline paused. Kravitz isn’t Sazed, Kravitz isn’t Sazed, he told himself. He listened to his boyfriend and he took down his glamour and he joked, but he knew Kravitz knew what was going on in his head. They’d talk about it later, he was sure. They’d have to. Taako wanted this to last.

 

Taako had never wanted things to last before. All at once, he wanted Kravitz to be beside him for the rest of his time on this plane, and probably a little bit after that too. Taako had a good idea of how long forever was - that’s something they started to understand on the Starblaster, at least in theory - and he wouldn’t mind this forever. And that was terrifying. He was willingly wanting to be tied down. His weak spot, however, was an undead emissary of the Raven Queen, so he was probably good from that front. And Kravitz wasn’t Sazed. Kravitz cared more about Taako’s feelings and less about his appearance, though it was a nice bonus of course. Heart came first for Krav, and Taako wasn’t used to that.  _ I’m worried no one else will have me. _

 

They defeated the Hunger. Merle told them John was finally at rest. Their mission was over. Taako could cry, but that wouldn’t fit in his brand, so he didn't. Until later, much later. He was in his bed, pretending to sleep, beside Kravitz, also pretending to sleep. Taako was thinking, something he had starting doing a lot lately. He was processing everything, an impossible task he wanted to conquer. He loved a challenge. And then he was sobbing. Uncontrollably. Loudly. Hysterically. Kravitz cradled him, pet his hair, kissed his temple, rocked him back and forth, and Taako clung to him. He was haunted by memories, and dust, and greasy hands. He wanted silence but there was so much in his head now, no space for peace. His brain wasn’t prepared for an extra century worth of thoughts. Lucretia was a detailed chronicler, and he was now very upset about that. He hated how trauma from the journey was triggering trauma from the past decade. The only reason he could stand Krav’s hands on him at all right now was because of how cold they were - clearly not Sazed.  Sazed had been warm, too warm, and moist. He had smelled like wagon grease and sweat, like those boys that chased Taako and Lup during cycle 52. Kravitz was citrus fruits and crisp sheets, a hint of vanilla. A lovely scent for a dead man. And he didn’t have a heartbeat. Sazed’s heart was always so loud, pounding as he...he was so loud and Kravitz was quiet. Taako revelled in the differences, cataloging each good thing about the man holding him.

 

“I love you.” Kravitz whispered, so genuine and soft. Sazed usually yelled it, or snarled it, or used it to guilt trip Taako into sex. Kravitz wanted to calm him down, to reassure him. He wasn’t sure what had triggered the tears, but he wanted to help. Sazed never helped anyone but himself. Taako had been like that, once. Not anymore. No, Taako was much better now. He was good right here.


End file.
